The ability to laugh, play, and have fun makes life more enjoyable and helps us solve problems, connect with others, and think more creatively. People who incorporate humor and play into their daily lives find that it renews them and all of their relationships.
In a candid conversation, my mother told me a few months back that I had lost my sense of humor. It was true... I was grieving!
Grief involves the entire body. We grieve in five ways — physically, mentally, behaviorally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Grief causes us to experience other losses as well. We lose part of ourselves — our security and our hope for the future.
My life as an expat is, without a doubt, adventurous and exciting on many levels, but even with this excitement, there are times when loneliness and longing for our loved ones creep up on us, and we question our life choices. And, of course, there is no more difficult time than when you lose a loved one.
My father passed 24th of September 2022. I had grieved him for several months prior he passed since his cancer was impossible to cure. The terrible irony is that my husband's late wife died of similar cancer. Through the last month, I could turn to him and ask all those questions I had. He knew what was coming. I traveled back and forward between US and Sweden, and then the dreadful phone call came, 'you need to come home now'! I missed my father's last breath by a few hours, but he called me the day before to say goodnight. He knew this was his goodbye. I look back on things I did and said during these months; it is a blur. It is true that to lose someone close, you lose yourself.
My father's attitude towards life was always highly positive! Family and friends often laughed over his 'over the top' positiveness, but he had an admirable attitude towards life! We honored him at the funeral with Frank Sinatra's 'Fly me to the moon' and the words;
'I aim for the moon, but if I miss, you'll find me amongst the stars.'
Life will always have its ups and downs, and part of it is that, unfortunately, we will lose loved ones. Below are a few things I needed to remind myself to find my humor again;
Ask for help when I need compassion.
Don't dwell on the negative – both for situations and people.
Accept how things are, and stop worrying!
Be grateful for the people that care and love me.
Exercise; it is my antidepressant!
Meditation; calms the body and soothes the nervous system.
Study and listen to music and podcasts that speak to my heart.
Walk in nature with my dogs.
Talk to family and friends over video and phone, and meet with my new friends in the US
The life of an expat is one to be coveted. Expats are viewed as brave. They uproot themselves from their comfort zone in their home country to go and have new experiences in a foreign and faraway land. The life uploaded on social media with many hashtags celebrates this free-spirited lifestyle, one to be admired by our peers as they flip through our Facebook and Instagram accounts. It's a seemingly perfect life, including new friends, new adventures, and new scenic and breathtaking views that read like the pages of the lonely planet guidebooks. Yes, indeed, it is a great life. Or is it?
Where focus goes, energy flows!
Helen
If you need a Holistic Health Coach with experience in life? Please contact me at helen@health4me.co or visit www.health4me.co
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